I am sitting at work and my mind is moving a mile a minute.... with thoughts of what these next 9 days will hold for me and Jeff. December 20th is like right around the corner.. I have dreams of these vaulted ceilings.. my balcony.. etc...
I definitely am behind with the packing.. but its really too cold to go into storage and do the things I wanted to do. So I guess we will figure that out later.
I just started my new job with Metro Entertainment Monday 12/8/08 and it is going well... I know this is going to be a great fit for me once I get my momentum!
I have been babysitting Jenna & Chucks little boy Alex for the past 2 weeks and that may start being a regular part time job for me. Its so funny.. I used to help my mom all the time when she had a daycare out of her house and that was several years ago and now I find myself drawn back to babies.... the first babysitting night was a bit scary but then it all came back to me.. like it was second nature. Now this does not mean that I am ready to have the seed planted by ANY means! I am patient and when the time is right.. the good lord knows what he is doing and he never gives you more than you can handle.. and he knows right now we can't!
Jeff's new job is going well working with the pediatrician. And he is planning on joining the volunteer fire side... he has been with the rescue side for 2 years now. So he is very nervous and anxious about the move.
The wedding plans have kinda been put on the back burner lately. I mean we are still planning on September 12th 2009, we have the first deposit for the venue where the wedding and reception will take place. And I have a photographer for the wedding I just have to get him the hold deposit to him once we move in and are settled.. I have my wedding dress.. plates for the cupcakes instead of the cake.. (hopefully Maggie will hook me up with her cupcake woman!) I have ideas GALORE for centerpieces and decorations... we have a DJ but haven't talked money with them yet.. and I better get an employee discount.. LOL!
Jeff and I have definitely been talking about getting married early just so I can have health insurance but I am struggling with that. I love him and I want more than anything to start my life as husband and wife with him.. but I feel it will take away from our Sept 12th event. And I am sure I could afford some insurance before we get married. I have shed many a tears over this. You (I mean "I" ) have one wedding.. and you think about this since you were little you see all the people around you having this amazing day.. am I selfish to want that special day for myself?!?!
I just want people to have that excitement that I had for them when they were going through their day... but I should not have to ask them to be excited for me. I struggle with this on a daily basis... with my family not really caring about this day.... with my "friends" who are around and who are not around. I just feel like everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives to realize that there is more around them...if that makes sense. I have always prided myself as being a giver... when I am needed I usually around to give above and beyond what is asked of me as a friend.... but on the flip side... I feel that the people around me fall short or I hold them under a different expectation... and I end up getting hurt... and I am working on this part of myself. I have some great friends....and I am thankful for them everyday...
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